somewhere under the sky

perspective

The other day I ran into an old acquaintance who had studied in Spain last quarter and whom I had seen maybe once or twice in the past 2 years. She started speaking to me in Spanish and I was a little surprised because I hadn't been expecting it but nonetheless, we carried on our conversation in Spanish.
Afterward I was wondering why it bothers me so much to speak in Spanish with native English speakers. I came to the conclusion that what I most desire in human relationships is connection and that there are already enough barriers between people that we don't need to add on top of those an unecessary language barrier. Language is an essential part of identity and speaking in a non-native language does wierd things (in my experience) to the mind and identity of the speaker. Granted, the whole reason I learn other languages is to make connections to people-but obviously to people who don't speak English. A person speaking in his/her native language can draw on all sorts of social and historical connotations with which a non-native speaker may not be familiar. I learn Spanish in order to make Spanish speakers feel more comfortable talking to a foreigner, but in order to connect to English speakers, I obviously speak in English. We have so much in our shared language that can connect us, why would we speak anything else?
A friend, R, later pointed out to me that my acquaintance probably associates me with all things Spanish and so by speaking to me in Spanish, she in fact was trying to connect to me. This had not occurred to me.
I ran into my acquaintance again today, and again we spoke in Spanish. At the end of our conversation she told me she was so happy she ran into me so we could practice Spanish. Afterward I realized that she is going through exactly what I went through when I returned from Ecuador: the simple depression at not being in a Spanish-speaking country where Spanish IS life, and not just a part of life. With this understanding, I realize that actually the best way for me to connect to her is to speak in Spanish. Thank you, R, for giving me perspective.

posted by leah v @ 2:58 PM