last sunday, in cuenca, i sat down at the dinner table at 1230 in the afternoon and for the most part, did not move until 8 pm, when the guests began leaving. they were all family of some sort, relations of the friends i was staying with. this in itself is not so amazing. what is amazing is that the conversation never stopped between when they first got together and when they left. nonstop conversation. we ate lunch, waited for dessert, ate dessert, had a second round of dessert, played cards for a time and then ate dinner. after about 4 hours, i finally felt comfortable enough to pipe in the conversation. this was all in spanish, of course, which is why i was quiet for quite a time. i get nervous when there are more than 2 people that i have to talk to at the same time. but by the end, we were all old friends, or family i should say. this is a regular custom of some ecuadorean families. i don´t want to say all, because i can only judge by my particular experience.
everyone is family. in the states, family lives more or less separated from each other because everyone goes off to their selective colleges and from there, other jobs, etc. but actually, this ecuadorean custom is not much different from my culture, the difference is in the states, gatherings consist of friends whereas in ecuador, gatherings are of family. so, what is family.
the interesting observation i made was the following-ecuadoreans can all talk at the same time. this is not the interesting part. what fascinates me is that they can all hear each other at the same time. last saturday night i was with 10 or so adults and i watched a woman talk to 3 other people while someone else was commenting or asking her a question, and then she responded to the person who was talking to her while she was talking. i was amazed.
2 Comments:
where to begin with so much wonderful insight this past summer?
i would have a few things to say about family - but will reserve those for another time/place;
i could go all the way back to jacqui/leah's discussion on learning...both of you have many good things to say - one of them however stays with me: that leah quotes from mr. darko - no actions are good or bad...what does this really mean? - is it semantics? - is it that actions can only be judged by their reactions/consequences? - or are we not to judge anything at all? which means then that no one has to be responsible for anything...; are the consequences subjective so that what is good for one is bad for another [if not 'good' or 'bad' but maybe use 'pleasant'/'unpleasant'; 'happy/sad'; insert any others]? - so then who wins as the 'most important'? - is 'not good or bad' another way of declining responsibility for what one does? - does this tie into the machismo guys...actually yes - since what they are doing is just playing a game...then is not everything we do just become a game - & no one has to be responsible for anything? - & especially [perish forbid! - that's for kev] that whatever we do should have any effect on anyone else in our [big or little] world...since anyway we know that it really is just up to them to what they want with it...my mother always said that i 'think too much'! that's the same wise grandma that follows this blog!
i have also been told that i think too much.
i think people are responsible for their actions. i think there are good and bad actions. murder is bad. being generous is good.
the quote from Donnie Darko of course has a specific context. the kids were situations and told to qualify the action taken in each situation as good or bad. Donnie says that they can{t, because life is not that black and white. while i think there is good and bad, i think that life is always more complicated than it seems, sometimes the situations we are in demand careful thought and we can only choose the best decision, which may bring along negative consequences for as good as it may seem.
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