imbalances of power
i was inspired to write, so i flipped through my journal for a subject and we'll start with this: at a party for the summer solstice in Estonia, i was helping to group branches together which are used in the sauna as a sort of beating device (it feels very good, i promise) and i had just met the people around me, which were a mix of estonians and russians. i dont really know why, but someone of those who knew english asked me if i knew anything about Belarus. with a guilty heart, i confessed that in fact, i knew nothing about Belarus. one of the women remarked, in russian, that everyone knows everything about the U.S. but U.S. people dont know anything about the rest of the world. i took her seriously, even though it was a joke, and i exclaimed "i know!" and then began to protest in a voice that was louder than necessary that yes, this was unfair and i know that the world is this way at the moment and its not fair that U.S. people dont know anything about the world which knows everything about them (which in fact, is not completely true on either side), but that i was trying, okay? and that how can i be expected to know everything about the entire world?such were my protests. at the time, i did in fact feel exasperated that i should be expected to know everything about the entire world. but my entire purpose there was to be learning about that part of the world. and i felt it was unfair, because i have spent 4 or 5 years studying latin america really intensely, and i am very young, and if anything about Belarus was mentioned in high school, which i doubt it was, then i have forgotten it. the lady was joking, but as i often do, i took the joke seriously and i couldnt just laugh it off, probably because i havent yet reconciled my guilt for US foreign policy decisions that have nothing to do with me.
but even as i protested, i also began to question was i right to protest such a comment. maybe its unfair to expect me to know everything about the world, i didnt ask for that, but i also didnt ask for the US to be a superpower and so maybe i do in fact have a responbility to know a lot about the world, since the U.S. meddles in all the worlds affairs. and maybe if i had never gone to the middle of nowhere, estonia, i would never have found myself in such a situation, or have felt guilty about not knowing anything about Belarus, so maybe if im going to travel i should read a lot first. which normally i would be an advocate of doing that, except oddly enough i have to say that not reading before making this trip has made me much more open to hear what people have to say, and to learn about history through people's stories and perspective, rather than books, and the more people i talk to, the more diverse the perspectives become, and without reading beforehand, i have not as many prejudices towards how history happened and i can hear it from the people.
so i am a little conflicted. the U.S. is in every corner of the world, if not the government herself, then Coca cola, McDonalds, Southpark, Law and Order, Barbie, and ipods are sure to be in every city in the entire world, and anywhere that a television antenna reaches, they will be there too. i am bothered by this. very bothered. so maybe i can assuage my botheredness by learning about the entire world. i just dont know. some say the human brain has not evolved as fast as technology, our brain is not equipped to handle so much information at once, or such large social circles. i would like that believe that, as i feel the world is un-managable, although i do know people who know things about the entire world.
what a strange world. in school we learn about U.S. history, and in every other country, they also learn about U.S. history. i am bothered by this, but dont quite know how to solve it.
i remember that i asked an estonian if they had any special new year traditions for january first (although this is the West's new year). when he said no, not really, i joked, "you mean you dont drop a big diamond ball?" he gave me a puzzled look, and do you know, i was THRILLED to discover that i could actually share something that he doesnt know about the U.S.??!! U.S. media have so inundated the entire world that in estonia, i was beginning to feel it was impossible to even tell young people what the U.S. is like because they already know! and of course, this adds another layer, because the U.S. is so large, and the movies only portray a part, that is all stereotypes. but these aside, like i say, i was so excited that this young man had never heard of the ball dropping in Times Square and that we could have a real exchange (instead of the usual- me knowing nothing of estonia and him knowing everything about "America"). and of all things, this stupid tradition is the one i get to share? ("oh yes, its very popular, in fact people line up 24 hours in advance and bring bottles to pee in!")
i do admit that i like talking about the U.S. when people ask because one of my favorite things to do is dispel stereotypes. i met a young estonian man who could quote Southpark and who knew everything about our financial system from watching a lot of youtube (and tell me how many U.S. young people know that the dollar is not backed by gold?) BUT he had never actually met a real U.S. person. and i couldnt even talk pop culture with them. "leah, who is your favorite actor or actress?" "uuuhhhh..."
Latvians call people from the U.S. "ohmygods". i found this hilarious. and despite the fact that i did indeed find myself saying "oh my god" a lot in our conversations, a Latvian family told me later that i broke their stereotypes of "Americans", which i will admit, i am proud to admit. even though i am still not settled about if i have the responsibility or not to know everything about the world.
well this post easily turned into a long one. goodnight.
posted by leah v @ 4:48 PM
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